They certainly taught Spanish there a few years ago. I took some funky "History of Latinos" in the USA class - Spanish essays from Hispanics that moved to (continental) USA: Cesar Chavez, that sort of thing. I had to write a Spanish essays on each one. It was good. I had to drop out of a Spanish for Health Professionals class because it was above my level. But non-academic, community stuff is probably only English. However, I'm sure there are a ton of people who can tutor you or, if you're daring and don't mind the horrible wait coming back to the USA, Rio Bravo might have something. There's also a Christian radio station in Edinburg. I think they have some of missionary Spanish program but I'm not 100% sure. But for tutoring, look for some place that has a bulletin board and just say you'd like a Spanish tutor. You can probably find one at the laundromats or maybe that used bookstore in McAllen. I don't know if Starbucks has those but you could speak to the barista.
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Quick content: I’m the oldest of five children. My mom on the other hand was the second youngest of five. My dad (not really important to the story, but for context) is the youngest of four. Growing up I was seen as an independent soul that didn’t rely on people that much. My mom’s friends talk about how easy I was to watch as a baby because I learned to play by myself. Right before I turned 2, my first sister was born. Nothing major happened, but I wasn’t a attention hoarder so not all the attention on me didn’t affect me.
Every two years I would have a new sibling. So by the time I was 8, I was the oldest of five kids. I had learned at that point to be mommy’s helper. In school it was shown that I was a good student. So I was shaping to show that I was going to be the perfect daughter. When I was around 8, my best friend decided not to be my friend. This would start off a slow spiral, where I wouldn’t be a perfect daughter. I still excelled in my very small school. I was the top of the class and a teachers’ pet.
I was pressured to be perfect in school and at home. Because I was the oldest, I had to be the perfect example. This constant pressure was annoying but not overbearing. My social life on the other hand barely existed, because I had severe self confidence issues and was distant to my peers. The pressure only became a problem when I hit high school. I developed depression thanks to an abusive teacher and lack of socializing. My family, of course, didn’t notice the change. They did notice the sudden drop in grades. I went from a straight A school loving student to a B- average I hate school person.
My mom only noticed the grades. She thought I wasn’t trying hard enough. I definitely was doing my best in a class where I was constantly being verbally abused because I couldn’t remember what brown was in Spanish. Yes it was a Spanish 1 class. I had only spoken Spanish to say hello. So I had no experience actually forming sentences. I also have a problem forming words in English. My mom helped me find a Spanish tutor. I think in the back of her mind she thought I would get straight As if I could figure out Spanish. That didn’t happen but I was better.
I continued on in school dropping deeper into my depression. It got really bad in sophomore year. I began to self harm. I didn’t cut my wrists. I would scratch my skin until it was bright red, pinch, write horribly bad things I thought of myself, and sometimes I would scratch in the words with a Bobby pin. Still my parents didn’t notice or seem to care. I feel alone and that there was no point. I didn’t feel sad, I felt empty. I did have suicial thoughts. I ended up clawing my way out of my own dark hole. This was thanks in part to a savior crush. I eventually gained back my confidence and self esteem, but was still depressed. During this rocky time in my life, my parents were telling me that I needed to grow up more and that I wasn’t doing enough.
This only stressed me out more. The expectations of being the perfect daughter were driving me nuts. I knew I wasn’t perfect especially since I was suffering with my mental health. I also began to swear at school. I personally don’t like swearing, but when you claw yourself out a hole made by not fully knowing who you are anymore. I also began to experiment with makeup, music, and clothing to find out who I was. My mom didn’t approve me trying to find myself with makeup and clothing. Her reasoning was that I was looking too goth. I was wearing a dark gray shirt with jean shorts.
I undermined her a lot subtlety. I wore blue lipsticks school and listened to music with a lot of swearing. Both were meant to be me rebelling in a small, unnoticeable way. She found out about the lipstick, not the music. If she went my music, I would probably have my phone taken away. It’s gotten to the point where she has expectations on how my romantic relationships should go. She wants me to date a ‘gentleman’ who will pay for everything and ask me on dates. Let’s say that the guy I’m interested in is not that. I asked him on our first date. We paid for ourselves on that date. We went on a different date where I paid for the tickets and he paid for snacks. In my mom’s eyes, he isn’t shaping up to be the perfect boyfriend. So now I’m feed up with my mom. Advice would be great. Commenting on the situation would be great too. Anything funny would be appreciated.